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Horoscope March 2019

Ketto Horoscope - March - Gerbe rare de Narval

Aries

Your oratory skills light up your entourage with lines that will go down in history. Your quick retorts can be cheeky, at times. The competition is no match for you: your rivals leave with their heads hanging. Your defiance has its advantages, but my goodness!, cut your crew some slack. If your best friends look at you with a mystified look, ask yourself if your thoughtlessness has reached the heights of certain populist radio hosts. If so, rein it in, dear Aries. Rein it in and this will be a wonderful time to stake your claim and accomplish much; you’ve got drive, style and courage.

Taurus

You wear a discrete smile. You tackle job after job at work, and enjoy life’s pleasures with a kind of sweet bliss. It’s as if your body was lighter, as if the paths had widened. No need for a compass: you naturally orient toward beauty and simplicity. When embarrassing memories surface from your past, you observe them with the same love you would have for a kitten, which brightens up your day. If anyone is jealous or looking to stir up trouble, you know nothing of it. You’re busy living your life.

Gemini

Gemini, people who cross your path suddenly begin to choreograph contemporary dances. Your presence alone is enough to relieve older people’s rheumatism and bring harmony to otherwise tense family reunions. Fluidity is your creed. You inspire flexibility and you move with grace, skipping around potholes, ignorant bosses and omnipresent mothers-in-law. Like a Transformer, you adapt flawlessly. Do not resist the temptation to try new things or visit exotic lands. You will ripple across landscapes. No trespassing? For other people, maybe.

Cancer

I haven’t seen you for a while, Cancer. That caliente rumba last month must have left you breathless. After threading multiple projects onto a giant skewer, you take a moment to realize that you’ve had your fill. Your breathing slows and you stop your wiggling, although there’s nothing boring about that. You’re digesting the material and reconfiguring it to be just the way you want. You launch into a creative phase. Don’t accuse yourself of being lazy for taking a few short naps on the lazy boy. Fresh and alert, you will re-enchant your daily routine and that of your favourite people. They will thank you for it.

Leo

Plugged into the 220 volts of your truth, you can pick out unhappy illico people through their playful words, who hide their anxiety behind feigned optimism. You see clearly, my Leo! Just be careful not to let slip truths that are too hard to take... You know, egos are fragile and masks fall to pieces under your sharp observation. You’ve reached the next level: this clairvoyance will allow you to leave behind bling and mundanities. Your true face and personality suffice. Let your instincts guide you, and let the actors play their roles, for heaven’s sake! Refocus on yourself. There’s no time to fool around!

Virgo

If you’re familiar with the expression “give it your all,” you know that you’ve thrown darts at nice people and crazy ones, too. You work hard. Your endless drive pushes you over any hurdle you encounter. Your inspiration? The cheetah, Usain Bolt, the precision of the watchmaker. Stay the course, but allow yourself some ceasefires. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to recognize your enthusiasm, your flame, your diligent work. And don’t forget, dear racehorse, that you hold these qualities in your roots; deep down and filled with a vitality that surpasses even the best protein smoothies in the world. Let yourself float for a minute, it could also be fruitful.

Libra

In March, you will give a performance. If I were your mother, I would give you 10/10 for your original stand-up routine. Cracking jokes comes naturally to you, and your audience begs for more. The performer is at the top of her game. But are you okay, really? Behind all those smiles, is it possible that you’re hiding some sadness or a bout of the blues? Having a good cry, dancing until you’re dripping in sweat and pouring your heart out to friends are all very good for longevity. You’ll avoid a lot of hassles by expressing your true feelings as they surface. And tomorrow, zip zoup, you’ll have a good laugh, for real!

Scorpio

Wrapped in your homespun clothes, you imagine yourself strolling around in sandals and linen tunics looking like a Bollywood star. You’re already planning to wear your fedora to corn roasts, festivals, and on road trips. Your dreamy look gives your aura a particular allure, arousing the curiosity of your entourage. You appear to move around in a mysterious fog. Ground control to major Tom… Come back to the present! Do you need a vavavoom wakawakaway in your life? Take action now. Move your body! Put your mental activity on pause. Create heat instead of imagining it. The sun is there (it’s saying “Hello!” to the mountains).

Sagittarius

Is that foam at the corners of your mouth? Your yearning for freedom makes you want to scream “Let me be!” Since you don’t want to hurt anyone, you keep it in, but we notice your contrite look. Not everyone has your nomadic instinct. Express your desire for independence. Your real friends will understand, the others will go about their business (ciao!). Give yourself some time to relax, it will release the pressure. In case of an emergency, pretend you need to go pee and type “get outta here” of “run for your lives” on your paget. Inhale, exxxxhale.

Capricorn

Your mind is on fire. You have never been more sapiosexual. The bookstore staff do a double take as you walk in with your shopping cart. You will read everything. EVERYTHING. Your mind is open and simmering, and attracts quirky characters. Live in the present. It’s your chance to meet amigos who create funky art and rethink the way we live. If your eyes get tired from all the reading, go soak up the forest air. The trees will help you absorb your new knowledge and regenerate the magnificent cells that are you. Hats off, brave creature! Prepare a beautiful next step for our world.

Aquarius

You’re looking a little worse for wear. Your t-shirt is inside-out, your bad hair days are piling up, and you’re acting like a pre-teen—always ready to flip the finger. You hold yourself back. Why are people so boring, so conformist? It’s the perfect time to buy tickets and go see your favourite groups. If you have kids or nieces/nephews, let them manage your bank account. Regardless of how old they are, they’ll do a better job than you. Have fun thinking back to when you were 15 years old, whether you were in mosh pits, churches, arenas or back alleys. Jewel of youth, go forth!

Pisces

You’re looking a little worse for wear. Your t-shirt is inside-out, your bad hair days are piling up, and you’re acting like a pre-teen—always ready to flip the finger. You hold yourself back. Why are people so boring, so conformist? It’s the perfect time to buy tickets and go see your favourite groups. If you have kids or nieces/nephews, let them manage your bank account. Regardless of how old they are, they’ll do a better job than you. Have fun thinking back to when you were 15 years old, whether you were in mosh pits, churches, arenas or back alleys. Jewel of youth, go forth!

Discover the interpretations of our previous authors